Heavens Gate for the Devil Goddess
by Scattershot98
Summary: Quick oneshot about Ymirs life, from her time as a titan to her tragic demise. Anime only watchers beware, manga spoilers. If there are requests for more stories or a continuation for this one like just Pm me! if theres enough requests ill write more! Hope you enjoy!


**One shot of Ymir I was thinking of, from her time before and escaping her titan form to her last moments and what happens afterwards. Spoilers for you anime only watchers, manga readers hopefully will enjoy. Highly recommend you listen to the song "Call of Silence" by Gemie for this, it was the same one used during Ymir's orgin in season 2. It's really a beautiful song, and even more so once you know Ymir's story and how it ends, sadly. Well, drop a review if you like and tell me what you think. Let us begin.**

 _60 years_ ago.

60 years she wandered across the island of Paradise, not in control of her own body. Well it wasn't exactly her body anymore, her body was gone. And yet in a twisted way, it wasn't. _Her own body was no longer hers._

Transformed into a mindless monster by the titan serum by the evil people of Marley. And for what, _having a certain name?_ Trying to save people who foolishly believed in her, and the lies of the man who took her in and betrayed her?

That was no reason for her punishment. It shouldn't be, for anyone. Even if she felt she was punished for deciding those people, she didn't deserve this.

No one deserves to suffer like this.

So the girl with the name associated with the one with the power of the devil ran, and ran, and ran across dirt, grass, and plains until she felt tired.

Her mind grew more simple the more time she spent in this body, but she didn't lose intelligence. She just began to not think as much, because it would eventually drive her insane in this prison of hers. A mere passenger in her own body, unable to control even the urge to scratch something on her nose.

She wanted a nice nap, something to relieve her from this unending nightmare. She wanted freedom from this hell no... _she wanted to_ _die_. To most that would sound like the opposite of what she desired, but death would easily be preferable to this a million times over.

But even as she lay in the ground, getting what she wanted, she still had no control.

Dirt closed in around her, burying her. And yet she slept through all of it, hours turning to days, days to weeks, to months, to years, _to decades._

And still she slept...until one day...

Year 845

Something awoke her, some voice in the back of her mind, telling her to get up. To consume. To feast. A need growing hot in pain as she tried to ignore it, and she felt her body moving on its own accord.

She felt the dirt fall from her form as she rose, and to her horror the yearning feeling of hunger had a source, 4 young children.

4 innocent and naive children, at the wrong place and wrong time. 3 boys and a girl, all of who looked at her in shock and fear.

She hears a shout from one boy, and sees that it's directed at his friend, less than 6 meters from her, just standing there with wide eyes.

There was a blonde boy, staring right at her with fear in his eyes, and she _unwillingly_ but **instinctively** lunges at him with snarl.

Her hand sailed towards him as he stood paralysed with fear, but to both the blonde boys and her own unseen surprise, he wasn't snatched.

Another boy had shoved him out of the way just in time, only to be caught in her tight grip himself. Her hand acted on its own, just like her mouth did as it opened to consume. _'No! I don't want to kill hi-'_ She thinks, but her body continues.

She couldn't stop the jaws from clamping down and crushing the poor boy, or the blood that splatters from her lips down to the grass below.

The other three children watched in horror but fled nonetheless. There was nothing they could do but run from the monster, from _her_.

 _'Im sorry, I'm so sorry. I can't control-'_ She thinks before her thoughts stop, and she realizes that the pressure, the urge to eat and consume _is gone._ She thought her mind would've made her body chase after them, but for some reason she doesn't.

Her body doesn't move from it's spot for some odd, wonderful reason.

She doesn't chase after those other three, but she does feels a pressure in her stomach. It's warm and growing hotter, but she is able to tune it from her mind.

Instead she just feels _very tired_ , even more than when she first went to sleep so long ago. Laying down on the ground, she closes her massive eyes and rests once more.

Time passes, how long she doesn't know, but it has regardless. Her mind seems more... _aware_ now of herself. She feels different, and has the urge to open her eyes, to awaken once more.

She follows the feeling, and opens them again. But something is...different. Her body...is no longer huge and she feels like how she used to...

The girl opens her eyes further, _her eyes_. Not the monstrous orbs she's used for decades, but her own eyes from when she was still normal, before-

She stops as she begins to realize something, she has been moving how she wants. _She has control._

She looks up and sees the stars before her in the nighttime sky, shining doesn't on her as if the heavens themselves were smiling down on her.

 _She's free. She's finally free._ She's woken up from the nightmare. _'I'm free.'_

She holds her arms out wide in front of her, and begins laughing in joy as she sees that they were her own two human ones.

She laughs more as she falls back onto the dirt, looking at the stars with tears in her eyes. She's free at last.

But as she sits up, memories begin to come to her, some old...and some from recently.

She recalls the face of the boy she held in her hands, the boy she devoured like a snack.

She begins to feel a terrible guilt rise up from inside her, pushing the feelings of joy at being free to the side door now.

All she thinks of is the boy, _Marcel_ , she somehow knows his name in her mind. She begins to cry for what she's done.

" _I'm sorry Marcel...I'm so sorry Marcel.."_ the girl repeats the words over and over, the weight of her sin drowning her in a sea of sorrow.

But after hours of staying in the same spot, the girl begins to realize that she can't do this forever. She has to remember that she's free now.

She begins to remember her name, the name she was punished and imprisoned in that Hell for having. But she won't abandon it, it's cost her too much to just give in and find a new one. It would be like betraying herself.

She says her name aloud, finding how easy it is to speak after staying silent for decades to be one of the most precious of desires.

"I..am...Ymir. My name...is Ymir."

The girl begins to stand wobblily on her legs, and she stands firm after a moment of hesitation. She notices that unlike when she entered hell clothed, she now stands free completly bare.

She brings a hand to cover herself subconsciously, even though she can see no one around. But the act makes her feel normal, so she does not refrain from doing so.

She looks to the nighttime sky once more, the stars shining and swimming in the deep dark blue of the world.

She takes a step forward, and then another, and then another. Soon she is running towards her freedom, and she doesn't look back.

 _Year 850_

The same girl who ran to her freedom 5 years ago now sits chained as she awaits her death. She made a bad decision, but she knows inside that it was simply to repay a debt.

But that does not mean she likes it, she does not want to die without her goddess. But because she decided to go back with people who turned out to be traitors, friends, she has no other choice.

Ymir knew this would happen one way or another, had it not been today it would be in 8 years when her namesakes curse finally claims her body. So why did she go back?

She swore to live only for herself after gaining her freedom, and yet she still broke that oath. All for a small blonde girl who she took pity on and came to love. And she also took pity on two brainwashed and confused boys, all pawns in a never ending cycle of pain and suffering.

She knew what they would face if they returned empty-handed, and do offered herself up. In hindsight it was a stupid move, but Ymir can place a small amount of blame in her own nature.

Though she had no such charisma nor grace as her Historia, she _did_ remember that she once brought happiness to others because they thought of _Her_ as a goddess. And maybe those years of living that like did affect her, made her stand up for her worshippers when they were all arrested.

She'd gained the caring side of a goddess, though she hardly showed it. Even to Historia it wasn't apparent the the freckled girl she grew close with _wanted_ to be that good person others once saw her as. Some sefish desire made her want to be seen as good hy others, wanting their approval. But a _selfless_ part of her wanted to genuinely help the few she could in this cruel world.

But that selfless side led her to where she is now, watching as her death comes near. The man who was Marley's next warrior had been given the same serum she was given more than half a century ago.

But in her memories she found this to be horribly fitting for her executioner. Because she knew from Marcel's memories that this man about to consume her _was his brother, the one he tried to spare this very fate that he was approaching._

She closes her eyes as the jaws came chomping down, and knew no more.

Or so she would've thought.

Ymir opened her eyes to see a warm light, it had a soft glow to it that reminded her of the night she reclaimed her freedom. She looked around but it seemed to be a cloudy area, and in the shadows she could see people walking about. But she couldn't see their faces, and they never came close so she could see them.

 _"Child."_

She hears a voice calling her, a sweet sweet voice like a goddess coming from ahead. She started to see the outline of a woman, nearly as tall as a 15 meter titan, and felt a shiver of fear run through her. It came closer to her, and she gasped in awe of the woman's features.

Dark hair that came to her neck, a tall form aside from just her size, her proportions seemed to show a tall imposing form. The titan of a woman came closer to her, and began to speak once more.

 _"Do not be afraid child, Your suffering is now at an end."_ The girl was surprised by the warm tone in which the want spoke, how _motherly_ it sounded...and why was she just referred to as "child"? She decides to ask the woman a question.

"Who are _you?_ " She asks, not trying to come off as rude or anything to the intimidating woman before her. The woman looked at her kindly and sadly, before telling her.

"I am the one who found the source of life, the one who birthed the power of 9. _I am Ymir Fritz."_


End file.
